Circles In My Head

I didn't mean I would never write again. I just meant that I think the spark in our relationship has burned out for good. My mind is in other places. My inspiration goes into my comics website. I'll definitely continue to post concert reviews, though.

LiveJournal, I don't think it's working out between us. I promise to visit every once in a while, but I think this is goodbye. I'm moving to Smack Jeeves. So long.

Love,
Sylvia

Dear Livejournal,

I know this is awkward. It's not that I don't love music anymore. I do love music. But there's just something... You know that Vertical Horizon song "Everything You Want"? It's kind of like that. I think the problem is that music doesn't listen to me. I now realize that you've always been there for me and I was just too blind to see it. So I don't know what to say. I mean I know I've been acting like a jerk to you but you never cared at all, did you? You don't care about things like that. Can we get back together?

Okay, okay, hold on. I didn't mean to be so abrupt. But now I've said it, so...

Well, I guess you're right. Oh, I never should have brought it up. I feel so stupid! What was I thinking? That you would just take me back, despite the way I've treated you?

You wouldn't, would you?

Okay, I guess I expected that, I was just checking.


Are you sure?

Okay. I'll just... go now.

Dear Livejournal,

I think I'm probably overfilling my quota of posts in the total number of journal entries for me and my friends. Which means I'm "hogging" journal space, if that's possible. And I don't know why I feel guilty about it. It's my blog. I can update it as often as I feel like it.

So I just wanted to let you know - I know this is an awkward topic to talk about to you, but I think we should still be friends and tell each other what's going on in each other's lives. I wanted to let you know how it's working out with music. It's going really well. I'm more in love with music than ever before. Music offers me so much more than you ever could or wanted to. I think music really cares about me. I think you could learn something from music.

Boy, this is getting awkward. I never meant for it to get like this. It's just that you never realize what you never had until you get it.


Look, I'm just trying to be honest with you like I've always been. Well, except when I tried to break up with you to make you jealous and want me more. And the time I led you on because I'd rather be with you than with no one at all. Hey, maybe we started things off on the wrong foot. I should go before things get any worse. Bye.

Music is my boyfriend.

I guess I'm breaking up with you. Sorry about that. These things happen sometimes. Hmmm. Yeah, well, move on with your life now. Bye.

Dear Livejournal,

You have so much more to offer than I previously thought. How could I think so shallow of you? Now I could get lost in your pages for hours and hours. Did you change for me? Or did you do it for yourself? Either way, it makes a difference. It also makes a difference now that our illegitimate daughter is born. But no one has to find her until years from now.

Love,
Sylvia

I'm dating my entry Saturday, October twentieth, 2007. (very early so it's still really friday.)

Dear Livejournal,

I must confess to you that I joined an online dating network. Nothing's happened so far. I just thought you should be the first to know. Well, maybe not the first, but the 5th or so, I guess. The reason I didn't tell you before was because I thought you'd be mad. I thought you'd get all defensive and interrogative and stuff. But really, I just did it because I was bored. You know WHY I was bored? Because this relationship isn't giving me everything I need. So what if I joined a dating network? What're you gonna do? Are you going to stop me?

Well, it doesn't mean anything, so you don't have to worry about it. See you tomorrow.

Love,
Sylvia

Dear LiveJournal,

Who is discovering the addictive pleasure of blogging? I must confess, I'm falling in love with you all over again. It must be your new appearance. But those things never matter to me. I would love you even if you were chartreuse with magenta lucida handwriting. Well, no, actually then I would stop loving you. In fact, I would have nothing to do with you anymore. No offense to lucida handwriting or the color magenta. Chartreuse, on the other hand, I still bear a grudge against for some reason.

At least it's after midnight. Speaking of which, I should get back to the ball. I think I left one glass slipper behind.

Dear LiveJournal,

Our relationship has come to a standstill. I feel like I'm putting everything into the relationship, and you're not giving anything back. I'm putting all the work into it. So the question is, do you really care about US, or not? Or what?

Oh, you're not going to respond, are you? Did I catch you off guard? I knew it! You don't care about our relationship. Do you even care about me?


Hmmm. Well, I was hoping that you did care, and you just needed me to remind you of it. But since you don't, I'm just going to pretend that everything's all right, and we'll continue the way it was before.

Love,
Sylvia

Look, I don't know if I can stand this anymore. Can we get beck together? Just maybe for a little while, until I find something better? I wasn't really seeing someone else, I just said that to make you jealous. Did it work?

Hi. I just thought I'd stop by after not seeing you for a while. I don't know what's going on with us, livejournal, but I think we should start seeing other people. You know, I just don't feel that spark anymore. I think we can still be friends. I hope you're not hurt. It's just that, well, I've been feeling trapped lately, like I need some time to myself or something. I don't know. No, it's not you. It's me. You can take it however you want, but the point is, it's basically over between us now. I'll see you every once in a while. Look, you had your chance with me. No, I didn't mean it like that, I meant... Okay. Yes, I've been seeing someone else and not telling you. There, I said it. It's out in the open now, and everyone knows. Well, if you weren't such a blabbermouth about all these personal things I tell you... livejournal, I just don't know how I can trust you anymore. No, you have a point. You can't trust me either. But that's just it. Don't talk to me like that! Well fine. I'm leaving.

Ah, livejournal. So it's you again. Yep. Another boring ol' entry when I'm just writing even though I have nothing to say to the world at the moment. But you don't care. You're just something that doesn't love a wall. Well, have a good time processing things. I have a feeling I should have more than three lj friends, but maybe that's just me.

Yes, that's right. Just a few minutes later. I think I'm addicted to you, livejournal. I don't know what it is. Could it be your emerald green eyes? Or maybe it's your beautiful smile. Anyway, I can't seem to picture either of those things, so I guess it's something deeper. Just the other day, I didn't know what the point was, and now, suddenly I'm in love with you. I think this is the beginning of a long and complicated relationship. One that will require many heartbreaks and much sadness, but only on your part, because I'm fickle, and you're static. And once I discover that you have no depth at all, everything will be practically over between us. Good night, livejournal. I hope you sleep well tonight.

Hey, can't I spend several times a day having quality time with my friend livejournal?

"No. You need other friends."

But I have other friends.

"You need to stop this strange attachment. It's unhealthy."

But I--

"No! Go home, Sylvia. Go do your homework. You'll see livejournal tomorrow."

Oh, but livejournal is such a better friend than homework, or any of my other friends, for that matter. Actually, I think I'm in love with livejournal. No one listens more intently. No one else puts up with such nonsense.

"You're not making sense."

See?

"You're delusional."

Who are you, anyway?